There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
