Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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