I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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