why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
