How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
