I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
