i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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