Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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