He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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