i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
