Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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