there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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