all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
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I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
you had me at cake vodka
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
he's gonorrhea incarnate
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I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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