yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You dont lie about slip and slides
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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