google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
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sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
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My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?