Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
Cake is only good when you eat it
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?