I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.