I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?