meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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