So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
