I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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