I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
