a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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