How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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