this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize