How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
