Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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