Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
