i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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