we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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