She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
