ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
