Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
