i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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