He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
