I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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