im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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