he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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