on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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