i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
