We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
