Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
