I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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