So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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