Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
