And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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