The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
