I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
