TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
