well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
