Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
