I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize