nutella sex= disaster
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
