I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The adults are the big ones right?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
