someone threw a dead crab at me
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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