You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
