i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
