Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
