A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
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I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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