I accidentally had phone sex last night
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
