This is not my ceiling
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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