I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
