my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
