Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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