My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
