Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
