oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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