dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.