Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(507): View more from Minnesota

So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.

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(248): View more from Michigan

so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience

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(205): View more from Alabama

it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(704): View more from North Carolina

The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious

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(909): View more from California

He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.

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(650): View more from California

now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs

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