I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho