I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
