Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
