You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
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Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
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I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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